Saturday, December 17, 2005

A Need to Be More Outwardly Spiritual

Friends, I have not posted in awhile. In recent weeks the amount of work for my classes has intensified as the semester has come to a close, and I am now in the midst of Finals week (1 term paper and 1 final down, two finals to go).

It is difficult to continue taking time for centeredness during the ups of my workload. It is difficult to accept this, as my faithfulness is not contingent upon the amount of time I have for it. I strive to remain faithful as my spiritual focus goes through this valley, for there must be valleys in order for there to be mountains.

On the bus back from Harvard Square this evening, I realized yet again that while I strive to base my life and actions upon my leadings and through listening [to God], those around me and many with whom I interact on a daily basis would never know. This hugely important part of me remains unrecognized to most around me. Something about that is not right.

I was speaking to a friend a few weeks ago and I found myself saying something like, "Actually, spirituality is a really important part of who I am". She replied that she never would have guessed that about me from what she knew about me.

I strive so for authenticity, and what, Friends, does this imply about my authenticity? It is not as if I go around being fake or covering up my actions or intentions, but how is it that this major part of my life goes so unrecognized? I strive to be faithful, as well as I strive to be authentic in my faithfulness. I strive to live an authentic life, as well.

I see that I have a lot to work on.

Love and Light,
Claire

1 Comments:

Blogger Zach Alexander said...

I've been having a hard time posting in the past couple weeks too... finals week has stretched on for me as I try to finish a few essays and email them to professors.

I think it's a good thing to wonder whether one is being faithful enough, and faithfulness does often lead one into differentness... but we shouldn't look for difference just for the sake of difference.

Maybe your friend doesn't see you as much different from herself spiritually because she is trying to listen to the inner guide as well, but she just doesn't herself describe that with the word 'spirituality'?

Happy birthday! (:

20/12/05 3:42 PM  

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