Saturday, December 17, 2005

A Need to Be More Outwardly Spiritual

Friends, I have not posted in awhile. In recent weeks the amount of work for my classes has intensified as the semester has come to a close, and I am now in the midst of Finals week (1 term paper and 1 final down, two finals to go).

It is difficult to continue taking time for centeredness during the ups of my workload. It is difficult to accept this, as my faithfulness is not contingent upon the amount of time I have for it. I strive to remain faithful as my spiritual focus goes through this valley, for there must be valleys in order for there to be mountains.

On the bus back from Harvard Square this evening, I realized yet again that while I strive to base my life and actions upon my leadings and through listening [to God], those around me and many with whom I interact on a daily basis would never know. This hugely important part of me remains unrecognized to most around me. Something about that is not right.

I was speaking to a friend a few weeks ago and I found myself saying something like, "Actually, spirituality is a really important part of who I am". She replied that she never would have guessed that about me from what she knew about me.

I strive so for authenticity, and what, Friends, does this imply about my authenticity? It is not as if I go around being fake or covering up my actions or intentions, but how is it that this major part of my life goes so unrecognized? I strive to be faithful, as well as I strive to be authentic in my faithfulness. I strive to live an authentic life, as well.

I see that I have a lot to work on.

Love and Light,


Blogger Zach A said...

I've been having a hard time posting in the past couple weeks too... finals week has stretched on for me as I try to finish a few essays and email them to professors.

I think it's a good thing to wonder whether one is being faithful enough, and faithfulness does often lead one into differentness... but we shouldn't look for difference just for the sake of difference.

Maybe your friend doesn't see you as much different from herself spiritually because she is trying to listen to the inner guide as well, but she just doesn't herself describe that with the word 'spirituality'?

Happy birthday! (:

20/12/05 3:42 PM  
Blogger sehen said...

Yes, Zach is right - and happy birthday, even if that was yesterday :-)

Yes, being more outwardly spiritual may be good - and exactly inasmuch as you have the basis for that. And outward spirituality will mean that you are able to greet that of God in the person that crosses your path and whom you might otherwise not even recognise as a person.

Outward spirituality is obviously not about sporting a pin or some other posting "I'm a spiritual person." So, it is equally meaningless whether anyone else recognises you by this lable.

As for Quakers, I have often thought, while not trying to convince others (except by letting our lives speak), we should avoid autistic behaviour. We don't have to be too shy about it, but there are just not so many occasions when people we meet would care to know who or what we belong to. Again - our lives are the witness, not the words. Words can meaningfully witness only that lived reality - not a theoretical concept. In a way, as babies our lives may have been the greatest witness. We continue to accumulate and our new witness will have to be accordingly.

So have a good year of 19 year old witness wherever it may truly lead you. But be careful so that "outward spirituality" is not just "outward" ...

21/12/05 1:30 PM  

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