The Heart of my Restlessness

I feel like there's a lot of stuff floating around inside me that needs to get out and I don't know how to let it out. I find it difficult to truly listen and wait. I had no problem sitting still during Meeting today, but my focus is off. I can't even remember what I thought about or felt during Meeting today, and that's quite frustrating. I feel like I'm flailing my arms in the dark, looking for someone to take hold and guide me. I know that flailing my arms is not going to do anything; they say if you are lost to stay where you are until someone finds you. Perhaps that is part of what waiting is about; waiting for the Spirit to guide you.

Alas, there is a restlessness within me, about which I know not what to do. It's times like these when I realize that when I think and try too hard it only makes things worse. It's time to relax my mind a little, wait, and listen more to my heart, to the Spirit. My intellectual side has been going on overdrive trying to purposefully "wait and listen". Listening is about waiting for a feeling. Instead of flailing my arms in the dark, I should pause and let my Light shine bright and guide me.

I am thankful that I created this particular journal. If I had not ventured to write the above, it may have taken much longer to reach the heart of my restlessness.