Thursday, April 28, 2005

Obsessive Quakerism

I'm feeling quite obsessive about Quakerism right now. Perhaps it's just the word 'obsessive' that gets me, but it's almost making me uncomfortable. However, to be fully focused on spiritual development, one really has to be somewhat obsessive until it entirely natural (where you don't have to think about things as consciously anymore).

Quakerism and my spirituality are in the forefront of my mind and of my thinking right now (and I think 'obsessive' actually describes my thought processes quite well).

I never really thought much about how I was sort of bottling up all my theological and spiritual contemplations; suddenly I feel like I'm pouring it all out on the table and examining it all.. well, except that I've been examining it all. I'm trying to better apply my sprituality to my daily life and interactions without losing sight of myself; I'm trying to figure out where it all fits into my own life without trying to alter my personality or ways of being.

I feel quite naive in this 'obsessive' feeling. I feel like this should all be natural and unconscious - my reactions to the world around me, that is. However, it's tending toward that way; my reactions to things are more and more natural.

I'm learning how to better listen to that still small voice in every situation, not just ones where I'm thinking about it. Sometimes this is quite difficult.

I don't think I just made very much sense. Perhaps it's time to end this entry and move on.



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